Overalls are underrated, and I am over it. On style, function and number of pockets alone, everyone should have at least one pair of overalls in their closet––and yet, to my dismay, I’ve found that overalls are not as much of a staple in everyone else’s lives as they has in me For those needing the nudge, or aggressive push, towards the wonderfully amazing world of overall living, look no further. Here are five, completely relatable and objective reasons to run and buy, or borrow and never give back or sew your own pair of overalls today.
- There is not a single place on this planet where you could not wear overalls. If that’s not a sign of true style, I don’t know what is. I’ve taken final exams in overalls, I’ve fallen asleep in overalls and I’ve even worn them to holiday parties. I know what you’re thinking: “Sure, overalls are great for casual Friday, but what about all of the elite social gatherings I attend?” My answer is simple: Wear overalls. You can easily sneak home at least four trays of mini chicken pot pies and cream puffs into the pockets this article of clothing provides. More on that later.
- When I put on a pair of overalls, I feel like a farmer. All you need is some chickens and a butter churner, both of which can be found on Craigslist and shipped to your dorm within 48 hours. Overalls simply evoke feelings of simpler times, where my responsibilities included rolling around in the dirt, playing with leaves and being home by sunset. Who wouldn’t want to relive that part of their childhood or, better yet, make it their future?
- Overalls are cozy but cool at the same time. See, my legs are warm, but my arms are free and unrestricted to do those fun pinwheel arm exercises my middle school gym teacher was obsessed with but then stopped doing because everyone used it as an excuse to slap their friends. I really like those exercises. But, if that’s not your jam, having your arms out can open the door for a whole bunch of other activities, such as giving yourself temporary tattoos on your bicep or taking part in an unrestricted arm wrestling competition. There’s just something secure about being strapped into a piece of clothing. You can go on a trampoline, sit at a desk or even do yoga in overalls, and you never have to worry about them falling off or riding up or ripping down the seam like that pair of jeans you’ve had since seventh grade from American Eagle.
- Overalls are resilient—much like the cockroach that always seems to get to the shower before you do and then refuses to vacate until 3 am, when you have already walked down three flights of stairs to use a different shower. This article of clothing is built to handle the wear and tear of time, and certainly the wear and tear of college life. Walking to the THs? Overalls will keep you cozy when it starts to pour and you immediately regret your decision to leave your cozy bed for an overrated knock-off frat party in the middle of February. Play a sport? Overalls will give you some extra protection when you’re getting tackled on the rugby field. [Disclaimer: Overalls are not in accordance with rugby rules, so I don’t recommend actually wearing them to a school-sanctioned athletics game, but if you do, don’t sue me when you tear a ligament because I am not a doctor, and I am a college student in debt, so it wouldn’t be very cash money for either of us.] My own pair of overalls has survived both Founder’s Day and finals week, and I can’t say the same for most of my peers—clearly, overalls have something we don’t. If you STILL need to be convinced that overalls are superior to every other article of clothing in your closet, I have saved the best reason for last.
- Overalls have pockets. So many pockets. Mine have five that I know of, but I bet there are some hidden ones somewhere if I looked hard enough because as I’ve been writing this list, I’ve realized that overalls are the gift that keeps on giving, and I just know they’ve got more to give. My favorite pocket is the big pouch in the front because it gives kangaroo energy. See, the joy of this pouch is that you aren’t limited to stuffing it with a baby kangaroo, although I’d highly recommend that if you can get your hands on one. I’ve used it to store my driver’s license, a pack of Chips Ahoy! and the answers to a chemistry test. Just kidding, I don’t take chemistry because I have no interest in crying over a titration test—but if I did take chemistry, I bet I could even fit a beaker in there if I tried. Maybe even three if I stacked them inside one another like Russian nesting dolls, and at that point, I may as well try to fit a microscope in there. I’m getting ahead of myself and maybe chemistry isn’t actually so bad, but my point is that pockets are not a given in clothes, and overalls make up for that and then some. With overalls, just know that you’ll never need to hold your phone awkwardly in your hand all night again (there’s a pocket for that!) or find a place while dancing to put your drink (there’s a pocket for that!) or try to steal the cats from Central Receiving without a secure way of bringing them back to your dorm (there are two pockets for that!).
Overalls have linen; they always have been and always will be. So what are you waiting for?